SEAN MONSARRAT MFT
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What works? honestly, it's the caring

5/9/2026

 
In recent years there seems to be a convergence of views about what facilitates the unfoldment of the human person. Study of infant research reveals that healthy early development occurs as there is an attuned response from "self regulating others" (Stern 1985); within object relations theory, "holding" and "mirroring" from the caretaker allows the emergence of the "true self" (Winnicott 1987); in self psychology, it is empathic attunement that catalyzes the "nuclear self" (Kohut 1984); in humanistic psychology the "structure of self" and "self actualization" develop as needs for safety, belongingness, love, and respect are met (Maslow 1962; Rogers 1951); in attachment theory, accessible and responsive attachment figures support the growth of a secure and confident child (Cassidy and Shaver 1999); some recent thinking in the field of positive psychology points to compassion as key to healthy human development (Cassell 2005); and finally even current neuroscience speaks of "the shaping physiological force of love," finding that "attachment relationships" and "limbic resonance" with significant others shape the "neural core of the self" (Lewis, Amini, and Lannon 2001, Seigel 1999)

It appears that all these different approaches perceive, though from quite different vantage points, that human being flourishes within an empathic, respectful communion with others, a communion we believe can be called "love". It seems that it is love that facilitates the innate drive of synthesis, wholeness, and actualization; love that supports the human journey over the course of a lifetime; love that allows the human spirit to thrive. Looking even more closely at the operation of this love, however, we can see that this is a particular type of love. This is a love that can see and embrace the whole of who we are - in short, an empathic love.

- John Firman and Ann Gila, "The Psychotherapy of Love, Psychosynthesis in Practice"

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